Makeup and Trends

Yesterday I met up with a friend, daughter in tow, to seek out an eyebrow pencil at a fancy makeup store.Ā  As I approached the cluster of heavily madeup employees my daughter grabbed some lipstick and smeared it all around the general vicinity of her lips.

Nice Sales girl toning down her bold choice

Flamboyant tart was the shade, I believe.Ā  Lesson one: don’t bring your slightly A.D.D. daughter to a fancy makeup store.

I told them I wanted a long lasting eyebrow pencil.Ā  Did they have one that lasted like, multiple days?Ā  They make those, right?Ā  Nope, no they don’t.

I did end up sitting in the makeup chair while the sales girl tried out a $25 eyebrow pencil on me.Ā  I considered the age gap as I sat there, comtemplatively, her acyrlics mere centimeters from my eyeballs.Ā  This girl was a decade younger than I.Ā  She had never been indoctrinated into tweezing and plucking her eyebrows into glamorous submission.Ā  She was raised on instagram eyebrows.Ā Ā eyebrows

Brows that don’t enhance your look, theyĀ areĀ the look, girlfriend.

I however, was not.Ā  At 11 I realized I bore an uncanny resemblance to my dad, with my thick eyebrows.Ā  I followed my older sister into the bathroom and learned the art of the tweezer.Ā  The cool girls, like Gwen Stefani, had pencil thin eyebrows.

How does she look younger now?

Of course I’ve realized pencil thin eyebrows may be glamorous but they are very aging and not exactly natural looking.Ā  All this was too late for me, because my poor, be-plucked brows had tapped out and stopped growing back.

So the sales girl leans in, contour on point, probably quietly judging my sad, patchy scraggles where eyebrows should be.Ā  She works away on my brows for a solid 7 minutes, I kid you not.Ā  I glance in the mirror and…Ā 15181920372231871738540.jpg

emit an audible gasp of horror looking not unlike this baby.Ā  She picked up on my not so subtle displeasure and wiped away most of the pencil.Ā  I thanked her and raced out as quickly as I could.Ā  I bought an inexpensive pencil on amazon instead.

This got me thinking about trends in makeup and just in general.Ā  Now that I’m old enough to have weathered trends swinging from one extreme to the other: I have a bit of perspective.Ā  Lesson two: trends come and go so you should only adapt what actually works forĀ you.Ā Ā Not every girl should wear those super short crop tops.Ā  Very high-waisted jeans make your butt look weird and elongated.Ā  I thought we learned this back in the 90’s when those were known asĀ momĀ jeans.Ā Ā SMH

Oh my eyes

Just cause everyone else is doing it, doesn’t mean it isn’t dumb and regrettable.

Makeup that looks good in indoor lighting and through three phone filters looks horrifying to the rest of us.

We aren’t fooled, we are, however; frightened

You want to use as little as possible, just enough.Ā  If you are caking anything on or need a sandblaster to get it off, it’s too much, cupcake.Ā  If you can’t go out in direct sunlight because your face will run off like beige lava, it’s too much.Ā  Makeup shouldĀ enhanceĀ your features, not completely obscure them.

Use as few products as you can.Ā  If you’re trying to impress the opposite sex- they tend to prefer a more natural look, really.

Wash off your makeup really well every single night.Ā  No makeup should ever touch your pillow.Ā  Do a deep clean/exfoliater every week because soap isn’t always enough.Ā  If you keep your skin in good shape you won’t need a million products, anyways.

Lesson three: don’t buy clothes based solely on what’s trending.Ā  Figure out your body type and what styles actually flatter your particular shape.Ā  Who cares if it’s trendy if it looks bad?Ā  Forge your own path and develop your own style!