Silencing that Inner Critic (swimsuit season!)

Guys, this is going to be a very real blog from my heart (and swimsuit drawer!).

My inner body critic has beenĀ reallyĀ loud lately.Ā  My weight tends to fluctuate up and down a few pounds and it fluctuated back up again.Ā  I am also leaving for a vacation in just two days.

I was really hoping to be able to confidently rock a cute new swimsuit.

I kind of put it off til the last minute and checked out the selection at target yesterday.

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Where’s the covers the cheeky option?!

It was disheartening to say the least.Ā  First off; 80% of the swimsuits seemed to be designed for teen girls.Ā  The other 20% is for grandmas.Ā  Where’s the middle road, people??Ā  Like I’m not 19 but I’m notĀ thatĀ old?!Ā Ā I don’t know about your neighborhood target but mine has really horrid dressing rooms.Ā  Like bad (horror movie) florescent lighting and a mirror that somehow makes flaws you didn’t even know about “pop”.Ā  I tried on two swimming suits before leaving empty handed and feeling pretty crappy about myself.

I’ve been stressing about it all week.Ā  This morning I just decided, “screw it.Ā  I am going to silence that inner critic and love my body where it’s at.”Ā  I pulled out some of my old swimsuits that areĀ unapologetically “mom suits”.Ā  Ā Cute enough but modest.Ā  I’ll be able to enjoy myself without worrying so much about how I look.

Because really, youĀ absolutelyĀ should not let your inner critic push you around and rob you of your self worth.Ā  You areĀ so much more than your body or your looks.Ā Ā Your body is just your shell.Ā  Your legs were designed to get you from point a to point b, not to look flawless in a ridiculous “extra cheeky” swim suit.Ā  Your body is a gift and the vehicle through which you get to live and partake and experience life.Ā  Don’t lose sight of the amazing blessing that your healthy body is.

And if you’ve been feeling bad about your dietary choices you need to give yourself a gentle reality check.Ā  I like to stop and take a moment to be grateful to God that I have all these food choices available to me.Ā  That I don’t have to go hungry, or heaven forbid- watch my children go hungry.Ā  I amĀ blessed.Ā  I am worthy of a healthy self worth, independent of my size….and so are you.